1. Will wander throughout the land giving leprosy to the fortunate.
2. Will turn wine into water, primarily on the occasion of divorce.
3. Will strike a man named Lazarus Dead.
4. Will give a speech from an indentation or pit in the earth but his oratory
skills will fail to impress.
5. His followers will leave him to acquire copious amounts of wealth.
6. Will tell little children he "doesn't have time for them" and that they
should "go away."
7. Will not be able to walk on water but will rather impress people with
his ability to swim great distances.
8. Will be more than willing to witness the stoning of a woman of loose
morals. Will, in fact, offer to "cast the first stone."
9. Will hate long walks, preferring to be carried.
10. While adrift in the ocean, will accept a deal with God.
11. There will be very few pictures of him on Vatican walls.
12. Will get giddy with the thought of crucifiction.
13. Will tell stories but they will not be job related.
14. Will have his childhood carefully and painstakingly documented.
15. Will not have a single good word for Samaritans.
16. Will sell things at the temple and tell others to "quit whining."
17. Not adopted.
18. Will not be good at woodshop.
19. Will collect sins as a hobby.
20. Will not know any good stories about mustard seeds.
21. Will tell about the time he inscribed some tablets for some guy named
Smith. Then he will smurk and leave millions wondering...
22. Will insist on being paid at least 31 pieces of silver for any job.
23. Will not limit his associates to an arbitrary number.
24. Won't forgive anyone in the end.
25. Will snicker in philosophy class when they talk about the prime mover.
26. When told in math class that there are no true absolutes he will yell,
"damn strait!"
27. Will like pork.
28. His parents will find a room at the Inn without any trouble at all.
29. Will not care much for sheep.
30. Will wear pants.
31. Will refuse to wash others if the situation ever arises.
32. Will popularize the catch-phrase, "puts the U in Eugenics."
Take me back to Vision? Nary! I fear the vengeful wrath of an angry god!!