Happy Endings

by David Raffin

I have, in the past, been accused of negativity.

To be fair, this is not my fault. In America, things must always have a happy ending: movies, books, even the news. Think about it. Your evening news starts out with murder and tragedy and ends with a heartwarming fluff piece about puppies, clowns, or seven year olds who fly airplanes.

These pieces tell you relatively little about the nature of the world.
America is, after all, the nation that worships the pursuit of happiness. Diet plans and real-estate scams are all based on selling you the idea of happiness. The MX missile was sold on the premise of peace. Americans are suckers. Anything without the prerequisite happy ending is suspect.

I'm sure that when Shindler's List was screened, a guy in a suit from the studio said, "Why is no one smiling? I look at the screen and NO ONE is smiling. Not for two whole hours. I only laughed three times the whole film Speilsburg; Jesus, lighten it up a little. We've all seen Hogan's Heroes- we know it's not as bad as all that. Where's the guy with the monocle? And Black &;White? BLACK &;WHITE? We're shooting for commercial viability here, buddy."

I also thought about when the books of the Bible were being shopped around for a publisher. Envision the apostle Paul sitting down with the publishing representative.
"I don't know, Paul. It's short. We do appreciate that. Means we can publish it with similar stuff, an anthology. Maybe we can even serialize it in some of the popular Judaic magazines. We may even be able to give a kind of a running reference to the Torah; you know, bibliographers can do wonders these days. Hey, now there's a snappy little title- "Bible." We just want to make sure we don't saturate the market. I mean, if we put this sucker on every night stand in every inn, who's gonna want to see it? We don't want to breed resentment. That's why we're nixing the Latin version. Keep it in Hebrew, that's where the market is. Too many in-jokes for the goyem. They'll never understand."

"Also, Paul, I want to talk to you about the end. How can I put this? We can't publish a book where the main character... Dies at the end. Especially in such a nasty way. Crucifiction, now that hurts."
"Don't get me wrong. We love the betrayal with a kiss. Maybe we could get some more milage out of that. About that end though, I know it's cliché, but how about making it all a dream? You know, like, he had a lot of wine at the last supper and dreamt the whole thing. You've got to resolve this thing. Look, find a way to bring him back and we'll publish it. We gotta leave the door open to a sequel.

Return to Vision? Nary!