Eating Out on a Budget in Portland, OR

The Dancin' Bare Good prices, lots of parking.

This past weekend, members of the Vision? Nary! staff spent some time investigating budget eateries in the Rose City. We were first alerted to the presence of budget restaurants in the Portland area by a Mr. Scott Thompson, a chemistry student at PSU. Armed with nothing but a crude hand drawn map and $40 pilfered from petty cash, the three of us set out on our journey.

Dancin' Bare, **** (4 stars) 8440 N Interstate
Featuring a fireplace and a "fusion" pool table (a mutant offspring of two pool tables joined at the hip), Dancin' Bare is a quiet bar near the Oregon/Washinton border. The food is reasonable priced and the service is slow, though friendly.
The Hula Burger will set you back $4.25. They added a fried egg on request with no charge. Indeed, this seemed a pattern, as the Grilled Cheese ($2.25) was similarly outfitted with tomato on request. Both were served with fries.
A very small root beer, however, was $1.75. Rolling Rock was $3.50.
The lighting was dark and black lights were prevalent. This led Mike to point out that the pickles shown in a bright translucent color he felt was unappetizing, though they actually tasted fine.
We are to understand that the disco ball is left over from the building's last incarnation as a law office.
Change was doled out in all one dollar bills, The waitress going so far as to ask Mike if he had enough ones. We chalk this up as some sort of cultural ritual.

Doc's Bar & Grill, **(2 stars) 3000 SE Powell
One word dominates this review: LOUD.
This place was far TOO loud. Actually, deafening. And it wasn't so much the volume as it was the crappy sound system. The treble was piercing, causing poor Mike the beginnings of a killer headache. At one point I looked over and I swear he was weeping.
Still, other than that, the food was excellent and the service some of the best experienced, from the bartender to the waitresses. The soup of the day was tomato, sure to please even the strictest of vegetarians. If steak & eggs are your thing, they were to be had for $4. We were pleased with the bright lighting.
Only the piercing cacophony kept Doc's Bar & Grill from a full four star rating. Due to this, we left after only 30 minutes.
Our recommendation: Bring earplugs.

Tommy's, ****(4 stars) 3532 SE Powell
Didn't seem to have a kitchen- what the hell's with that?
We only stayed 3 hours.

Thumbs up and down Contrary to rumor, vegetarians ARE second class citizens at Portland eateries.

Club Cabos, ****(4 stars) 5145 SE McLoughlin
Sample verbal exchange:
"We'd like the tacos please."
"We don't serve tacos."
And that marked the last time we believed signs on top of buildings.
Still, they had a selection of burgers and whatnot at reasonable prices. They also serve steak. While not a vegetarian stronghold, We ate for less than $5 each. Service was fast and friendly. There was enough lighting to adequately see the food, much of it flashing in multiple colors.

Jody's Bar & Grill, ****(4 stars) 12035 NE Glisan (Gresham-off 205)
Feature's Rick's favorite: the ostrich burger. (That is, when ostrich meat is available.)
Also serves fish & chips. Vegetarian choices limited.
Good service, Good food, and a decent sound system. Prices in the range of the other eateries.
Somewhat dimly lit. Opens at 7 in the morning and serves breakfast.
A good atmosphere and many pool tables. We stayed into the wee hours.

Stars Cabaret, (no stars) 103 Pine St. NE (Beaverton)
Charges a cover price to get in the door. This defeats the whole "budget" angle and must be held against this establishment.
Features the loudest sound system of all. The kind of sound that makes you think you just stepped into a microwave.
If you bring your grampa, you will risk him suffering flashbacks of his storming of the beaches at Normandy, even if he wasn't there.
We left after 10 minutes, choosing not to stay and eat.

Bottoms Up!, **** (4 stars) 16900 NW St. Helens (Highway 30)
Nice place out highway 30. Small and friendly, featuring reasonably priced grill items, much like every other place reviewed.
Really out in the middle of nowhere, this place is worth a visit- and while you are there check out the mannequin shop next door. A large building brimming with mannequins. Just like home.