Everyone says freedom Everyone says they are for freedom. Nothing could be more popular. Other buzzwords may come and go; Freedom, however, has staying power. That’s because it is a living buzzword, subject to change with the times and the intent of the speaker. It is like a golden rain that showers down upon the listener whatever meaning one wishes to derive from it. It was no less a statesman and orator than Adolf Hitler who said, "We stand for the maintenance of private property... We shall protect free enterprise as the most expedient, or rather the sole possible economic order." And the political right of this country tries to paint this champion of the free market system as a socialist! The thing is: all politicians sound alike. They all say the same things. They talk about how the children are the future and we must protect them. They talk about the needs of the people. They tell about their programs to bring about change; which they refer to as programs to ensure freedom and prosperity. In fact, if you take snippets from all sorts of politicians and strip them of attribution, you will be left with a bewildering parlor game. Who said, “Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism because it is a merger of State and corporate power”? Ralph Nader or Benito Mussolini ? (It was Mussolini.) Who said, “The Afghan Mujaheddin are the moral equivalent of the Founding Fathers of America”? Osama bin Laden or Ronald Reagan? (It was Reagan.) When you realize that government (all of them) is staffed by damned liars, it brings all the slight of hand and blur of public relations and policy into sharp focus. They don’t say what they mean or mean what they say. As the father of modern PR, Josef Goebbels, said, “It is a democratic fallacy to believe that people want to govern themselves, people only ask to be governed decently.” And, of course, to be protected from terrorism. There has been much talk of terrorism in the last few years. I want to say this clearly so that it is well understood: Terrorism is peachy. Otherwise we would not have funded it. It's stimulating the economy. This country was built on terrorism. It was not for nothing our founding fathers stole and destroyed tea. It was so that we, their heirs, would be free to steal and destroy tea. Do not let anyone tell you it is not your right to steal and destroy tea! Our boys in uniform fought and died to insure that right. The stores are filled with tea. Go out and do your duty citizen! Anyone who tries to stop you is a traitor. One principle of private property (the foundation of the Free Market) is that you have the right to slash your own tires. They’re yours. You paid for them. How dare someone prevent you from slashing your own tires! Friend, I will fight for your right to slash your own tires- just as I will fight for your right to burn your own flag. Remember, burning flags is good for the economy. Stimulates flag sales. Anyone who tells you otherwise is anti-business and anti-American. They are traitors. You can either be pro-business or anti-flag burning. Logic dictates you cannot be both. Those who cannot choose are wishy-washy liberals. Which is just another word for traitor. Stand in the middle of the road long enough, buddy, and I will run you down. I say defend your rights: Slash a tire today! If you do not use your rights you will surely lose them. I understand you may not want to slash the tires on the car you drive to work. You shouldn’t let that stop you. Let me suggest that you slash the tires of city police or state patrol vehicles. Do you not pay taxes? Are those not, in fact, your vehicles? How could any politician argue otherwise? Do they not all promise to “slash government?” You are just doing your part to help. You are a patriot and you are defending your rights- as well as the rights of all Americans. Anyone who disagrees is a traitor. Those tires are yours to give and yours to take away. If they don’t want you to slash them, perhaps they should have business pay for them instead. The businesses write the laws in this country, so they might as well write some checks for the upkeep of their government. They already give money to the politicians and parties, why not to the government? Why should they expect us to pick up the tab? The business of government is the business of business. That is why businessmen run and control the business of government. We hold this truth to be self evident: that the business of government shall never perish from the earth. To secure this truth, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the businesses governed. Whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of business to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. David Raffin is the editor of Vision? Nary! magazine. A writer and a performer, he may be contacted though his home page. This column is available by email. If you are interested in running this column as a regular feature in your publication, contact here.