Vision? Nary!

George Carlin sings “Cherry Pie” on the old Arsenio Hall Show.

My Life As a Radical Lawyer by William M. Kunstler


My rating: 4 of 5 stars
A personal story:

When I was going to one of my colleges I drove a yellow Volkswagen super beetle. You may be aware that older cars get pulled over more often. I can attest to this. As soon as I started driving a new car I was never pulled over – no change in driving habits.

Yes, I bought this book – and I read it. But it was far more useful than that.
After I read it I kept it on the back seat of my yellow Volkswagen super beetle. Next to a thick spiral notebook and a copy of the book “100 cases against law enforcement.”
Thereafter, whenever I was pulled over, and the police did their “shine a light in the car before talking to the driver” bit, they saw these books.

Then they would thank me and let me go. Never a word of warning.

I would like to thank William Kunstler for inadvertently saving me from various unpleasant interactions.
Also, if you’re interested in radical lawyering, you could do worse than give it a read.

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Confidentially, I’m just like everyone else.
Like most people, I separate all of my laundry into two piles: Colored and Whites Only. And it’s not because I’m prejudiced; it’s because that’s the way I was taught.
Then, I single out the white items for special treatment. It’s not even something I think about anymore. That’s institutionalized racism my friend.

Sadly, it doesn’t even stop there. No. In addition to separating out the White items for special treatment, I separate the Colored items into piles according to how Colored they are. Light, dark, medium. And I separate out the Reds completely. Nothing can ever mingle with the Reds. It’s a red scare.
Result: when I do the laundry I feel dirty.
Doing laundry is inherently bad. It feeds on the worst tendencies in a person. I am considering a boycott. Wait. That may be sexist. Girlcott? Personcott? I’m confused.

I’m confused every time I do the laundry. Why can’t I put the Reds in? It’s simple. Because everything else will turn pink. Actually, only things that are lighter will become pink. Those things that are more “susceptible” to a Red philosophy. But yes, things will turn pink. Usually a lovely shade of pink.
This causes many people to relegate these items, perfectly serviceable items of clothing, into the garbage or the back of a drawer. Or to use them as a dust rag. Why? Simple. Latent fear of homosexuality.
People discard their pink socks purely due to fear of homosexuality. That’s sad.
It’s despicable behavior. There is nothing wrong with pink clothing. It’s as good as any other clothing. It serves to get the job done. What is it that you people expect?

I own, and subsequently wash, a great deal of reject clothing. Seasonal markdowns. Discarded clothing. Irregular shirts.
I tend to buy all my shirts at half off, due to the fact that they’re irregular. Not irregular due to production glitches, but because they have deviant thoughts. Because of this they are ostracized by the merchandising system. They are placed in the discount bin, away from the “good” clothing, and sold at a bargain price. They are liquidated. Because they are irregular some people question whether they are “safe for children to wear” – though there has never been a single case of an irregular shirt harming a child.
When I bring them home and place them in the closet, the other clothes relegate them into a special corner, a ghetto of sorts, which the shirts refer to as “the hip section of the closet.” This is where all the culturally relevant events in the closet take place. If you’re going to be in the closet this is the section of the closet you want to be in.
The shirts always have the last laugh. They sway and influence the children of the other attire: the jeans, the sweaters, the shoes (who try so hard to raise their youth to be straight-laced).
Eventually, the shirts will triumph. It’s inevitable.

A Documentary about veteran media hoaxer Alan Abel.

Alternate uses for my book “Rhyme or Treason (the hard fought illusion of choice).”

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“Since my earliest childhood a barb of sorrow has lodged in my heart.
As long as it stays I am ironic if it is pulled out I shall die.”

- Soren Kierkegaard (1813 – 1855) ( A Great Dane)

also: “People understand me so poorly that they don’t even understand my complaint about them not understanding me.” - Soren Kierkegaard

—
Søren Kierkegaard was a Great Dane. True.

Valentine’s day is on Sunday. So when Charlie Brown checks the mailbox that is the primary reason there will be no Valentine.
A secondary reason is that print is dead.
The tertiary reason is that people secretly hate him.

Wikipedia, first peanuts comic strip.

Amazon: The Complete Peanuts 1950-1954 Box Set

“It happened that a fire broke out backstage at a theater. The clown came out to inform the public. They thought it was just a jest and applauded. He repeated his warning, they shouted even louder. So I think the world will come to an end amid general applause from all the wits, who believe that it is a joke.”

- Soren Kierkegaard Either/Or, vol. I

“I like you so much,
If I ever become a zombie I will try not to eat your brain.

… But I make no promises.”

David Raffin

Finally. A musical with Hummus.

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Material from the Book “Rhyme or Treason: the hard fought illusion of choice.”

via William J. Bivens :
“In the 1890s, an unknown woman was found drowned in the Seine. Known as the l’Inconnue de la Seine, her death mask became a fixture in the homes of artists and writers, and her look the ideal of the age.

Many have speculated on her identity, and she has inspired a long list of artistic works by Nabokov, Rilke, Man Ray, and others. She has since become the “most kissed girl in the world” thanks to the Norwegian toymaker that used her mask to create Resusci Anne, the standard CPR doll.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L’Inconnue_de_la_Seine

It is true that in these days of budget cutting there is still money in pampering pets.
Effective immediately, I hereby announce I am available to read poetry to your pets.
My original plan was to make myself available to read poetry to your dogs. After carefully considering my business plan I have broadened this from “dogs” to the more generic “pets.” Who am I to deny the love of poetry to your cats, birds, and snapping turtles? My business is inclusive rather than exclusive.

It is only natural that I would eventually strike out in this direction. For years dogs have looked at me as if I were about to read poetry to them. They would stare at me quietly, tilt their head to one side, and wait expectantly. I don’t know why I didn’t take this clue and begin reading poetry to them spontaneously years ago. I guess it’s because I wasn’t being paid.

My services do not stop at poetry either. While it is true I do not bathe, clip, or walk pets; I do read things to them other than poetry. I also specialize in reading, for the benefit of animals, works of existential philosophy and biographies of great physicists.
Why not pamper your pet with the works of Friedrich Nietzsche, Soren Kierkegaard, or the autobiography of Richard Feynman? You’ll be glad you did.

There is also another niche market I am eager to exploit. I am available, immediately, to read the Bible to your pets. I wish to assert that I do this at quite a reasonable price, since, after all, we’re talking about your pets soul here. And, it’s really a job you should be doing, indoctrinating your pet into your faith. But I am glad to be here to help.
Again, my prices are reasonable, and, optionally, you can choose to have me read to them your entire holy book or pick and choose what you want your pet to believe.

Franchising opportunities available.

http://www.plazm.com/blog

Where Bishop Patrick crossed the street
An X now marks the spot.
The light of God was with him,
But the traffic light was not.

- Yip Harburg,
lyricist, “Somewhere over the rainbow” “Brother can you spare a dime?”

Love thy neighbor as thyself.
Put that motto on the shelf.
Let it lie there sitting idle.
Especially if you’re suicidal.

No matter how high or great the throne,
What sits on it is the same as your own.