VN AfterTaste

Confidentially, I’m just like everyone else.
Like most people, I separate all of my laundry into two piles: Colored and Whites Only. And it’s not because I’m prejudiced; it’s because that’s the way I was taught.
Then, I single out the white items for special treatment. It’s not even something I think about anymore. That’s institutionalized racism my friend.

Sadly, it doesn’t even stop there. No. In addition to separating out the White items for special treatment, I separate the Colored items into piles according to how Colored they are. Light, dark, medium. And I separate out the Reds completely. Nothing can ever mingle with the Reds. It’s a red scare.
Result: when I do the laundry I feel dirty.
Doing laundry is inherently bad. It feeds on the worst tendencies in a person. I am considering a boycott. Wait. That may be sexist. Girlcott? Personcott? I’m confused.

I’m confused every time I do the laundry. Why can’t I put the Reds in? It’s simple. Because everything else will turn pink. Actually, only things that are lighter will become pink. Those things that are more “susceptible” to a Red philosophy. But yes, things will turn pink. Usually a lovely shade of pink.
This causes many people to relegate these items, perfectly serviceable items of clothing, into the garbage or the back of a drawer. Or to use them as a dust rag. Why? Simple. Latent fear of homosexuality.
People discard their pink socks purely due to fear of homosexuality. That’s sad.
It’s despicable behavior. There is nothing wrong with pink clothing. It’s as good as any other clothing. It serves to get the job done. What is it that you people expect?

I own, and subsequently wash, a great deal of reject clothing. Seasonal markdowns. Discarded clothing. Irregular shirts.
I tend to buy all my shirts at half off, due to the fact that they’re irregular. Not irregular due to production glitches, but because they have deviant thoughts. Because of this they are ostracized by the merchandising system. They are placed in the discount bin, away from the “good” clothing, and sold at a bargain price. They are liquidated. Because they are irregular some people question whether they are “safe for children to wear” – though there has never been a single case of an irregular shirt harming a child.
When I bring them home and place them in the closet, the other clothes relegate them into a special corner, a ghetto of sorts, which the shirts refer to as “the hip section of the closet.” This is where all the culturally relevant events in the closet take place. If you’re going to be in the closet this is the section of the closet you want to be in.
The shirts always have the last laugh. They sway and influence the children of the other attire: the jeans, the sweaters, the shoes (who try so hard to raise their youth to be straight-laced).
Eventually, the shirts will triumph. It’s inevitable.